| God Fucking Damn |
[Jun. 12th, 2008|12:12 am] |
it has been a long hard week. I have had so much to deal with i got a call on the 4th from a guy who is no longer my friend,John, telling me that a good friend of ours was dead. I found out that Zim hung himself the night before. i soon learned of all the drama that was attached to it from when i was at school. in the 8 monthes i was way everyone got alot closer and things started to changed Zim started making everyone happy he seemed to have had this planed. the wake was on monday i drove out for the 7pm one it was on of the hardest things i ever had to do. i rember loseng my step grandpa and my grandma but this was alot less real at the time they were both sick i knew it was inevitable.
Zim hung himself after telling Michy that he was goin to she called and called but it was no good now everyone blames her but it is not her fault.
goin to the funeral and the wake was really hard on me he was only a few months older then me not even 21 yet. and to see him dead killed me i did not know him as well as i used to but we had god timeshe use to allways come in to my work both at east and at gamestop he stopped my lego every now and then but we did not know one another that well then. i remember he used to hug me after work and spin me round as i screamed bloody murder. i never understoold why securtiy never came then again it was not as if he was hurting me. I still cant beleave he is gone. him and our friends i should better explain it as "the guys" use to come into east and request me as their server they would always be my loudest table even with all of my drunk ones.
i just miss him alot the mall will nver be the same |
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| Stressed |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|01:01 pm] |
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i do not know what the fuck to do..... i can't keep a job i feela as if my life in none control able. i need to go find yet ANOTHER job. i really like Bamboo but i am not getting hours i was suposed to know my days on sunday it is tuseday now nd i still do not know |
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| What the fuck? |
[May. 30th, 2008|01:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
I am so sick of this Bobby i can not spend time with my sister and i set a side time for her too but NO she always has to be with him. Fuck this. this is the second time that she has told me that going out with him when we were supposed to go up to maine for Sigy sister time my big wants to meet her really bad and this is the second time she has ditched me because he wants to do something. one month is a month it is not 6 or a year it is a month. God fucking Dammit. i really wish i did not care
I really am sick of this i hate driving all the way up there even more so alone. i am just gonna have to call my big tomorrow and tell her that my sisters fuck toy was more important then her family so i came up alone.i met her sisters and she can't do me the Honor of meeting mine? that is fucked up Fucked up i tell you ( i know no one is reading this)
on top of it her fuck toy is trying to talk to me about it i am kinda ignoring him but i signed off because i was to pissed off to deal with it. |
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| With Grace and Tea |
[May. 30th, 2008|12:52 am] |
ok so i am sitting at my laptop now drinking tea. i am in a good mood for once. i got fired fro RVCC but i am happy that i did i do not have to go there anymore thank god. i freaked out when i got the call. thy were all blah blah balh do ot come in blah blah what ever. so i flipped out about not haveing a job. but i whent to Bamboo and i got a job there i start tomorrow.
now i am dealing with some bitch that thinks my sister is a bitch, |
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| So sick... |
[May. 28th, 2008|03:09 am] |
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I am so sick of hearing the same thing over and over with gary. i know he has a broken heart ad i know he is sic but i hate hearing him say how he is goin to just let himself die because ash will not be with him. grow up you are like what 20? just go to the doctor. so times i think you are lieing about this shit i really do. it pisses me off you finaley called her now. she locked herself in the bathroom so she coul try to get you to help yourself we can not do that for you. i wil drive into NYC if you go and get the help you need we will wait for the opration to be done al 20 hours of it ( i think that is how long it would be) we will stay since you have no one eles(so you say) just use your head plz |
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| Best Day in months |
[May. 26th, 2008|02:23 pm] |
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I had the best day ever yeasterday. i spent all day with james we have not had time like that since before i left for school in sept.we even whent shopping ( lord i hate shopping) walking around a new mall was not that bad i was looking for work shose but found none. i hate shopping because all the current styles suck. so after about 4 hours we found nothing spo noew idea! time to go up to woddbury commens and got stuff cheap that mean as allways FCUK and coah stuff for me. (yay) i really am a hypocrte for getting these things for myself. |
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| New Job |
[May. 24th, 2008|01:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
So i have started a new job this one is ALOT better no one is on my ass. I have made ALOT of good impressions at the club so i am doing good my manager seems to love me and the smae with the owner. I got the japanese chef that hates everyone to be nice to me too! he even brings down the food for me to be nice. ( he yells at everyone eles to go get it) he like to talk to me even tho my japanese is SO bad i do not understand much of it. i plan on keeping up my good relations with him maybe i will get some free food. but i can not see how he is such a mean guy he seems nice just stressed maybe it is because no one calls him by his name atsuko my manager just calls him okinawa |
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| Work day 2 |
[May. 21st, 2008|11:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
so work sucked even more today. i am so glade i have this to rant in. now:
i can not wear eyeliner because it is to drak they hair my hair style i had to dye it all back to black. no nail polish and i am still not getting my tips i am getting 8 an hour that is 40 a night. i made 20 in tips off of my frist table. ONE TABLE oveed half of my nights pay. |
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| work |
[May. 20th, 2008|11:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
so i started a new job i am goin to attempt to write in here more i think it will be good fro me and not to many of my friends know i hae it so for the most part i am safe.
New job:
Sushi bar, Sakura Bana in Ridgewood it is ok not that bad kinda small i am kinda pissed because i foun out to things that really pissed my off. ONE: i do not get tips untile next week right now i am gett 8 bucks an hours to be "trained" but i know what i am doing, so it is really me getting everyone eles good tips and getting shit pay.
TWO: WE have to share tips. I feel as if the tips i make should be mine i earned them my tables thn i am getting them why am i shreing them? |
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| blah |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|05:49 pm] |
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ypu that is it blah |
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[Oct. 31st, 2004|10:20 am] |
becase of poatriy club i have to write more alest onpoem a week i wil place them here as well so i do not lose them.
{Turn your back on the Twilight}
I walk alone i stand alone
bound by honor.
When pain follows i live on
am i to walk alone for ever?
walk in the light they say
leave it all behind
peace at last
with the price of forgeting.....
my past?
never happen
mondou muyou
mondou muyou
Wrote in sept 2003
Aifa Yasha Jaganshi
preformed Oct 2004
formal reading. |
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[Oct. 19th, 2004|05:22 pm] |
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erm... nothign really i have to start posting more band is going well our score is 81.3 as of now that is reallly it |
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[Sep. 26th, 2004|10:41 pm] |
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today was ok. lupa slept over last night. i am tlaking to keni. thought i should post so u all know i am still liveing |
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[Sep. 15th, 2004|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | i died for you Iced Earth | ] |
it's been along time well we had our pep rally to day and the little Bitch next store insulted one of my girls ( i my not be captian but i am a veteran so tenically i can say that ) but i would love nothing more them to stand up for 'shortay' but she asked me not to go yel at the little brat. that is really it |
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[Aug. 22nd, 2004|05:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | happy ending avirl | ] |
ok so on saterday i whent to sports world with keni i was getting to meet his cosen. personally i am not fond of her. she l;ikes kevein and her likes he lieks her too ( WTF!?!?!) but bnothgin happened becasekeven is dateing brigiet( not the one in my town.
after sports world we whnt back to keni's. his mom was so nice and offered to entertain alisa so me and him copuld be togther ( I LOVE YOU!!!.
sundat ( to day) i had to go out with my mom and dad but then i whant to the pool with kitty and we had fun. and then i whent food shoping i was wereuing my cat ears ans got my frist insult. it did not realy bother me case i like them. in the end i was waiting for my mom and the guy who insulted me went passed me and tryed to hide in his reicit. and now it is now. |
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[Aug. 19th, 2004|08:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | blah | ] |
wow it is to early i have tot go to work by 9 now insteed of 9:30. i am so trirded lets just say i am tired to the point were i opened a pixistix acidenyl pour the contander that holds my sherplay balls and dumped it out. this took me about a minuten and a ahlf to relize what i did and i lost my eyeliner but i am not flacking.......must sleep............ |
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[Aug. 18th, 2004|10:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | to sleepy to put any on | ] |
i had had sowrk so much lately this wekk up at 9 to be in by 9:30 too 11 ten off to band till 4 when i go back to work til arounf 7-8ish there has been no time to do anyithing. me and kitty are talking again. josh is coming over tomorrow when i as finnally free (still have work from 9:30-4:30) well i gtg must sleep...... |
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[Aug. 15th, 2004|06:38 pm] |
hiei ^_^ |
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[Aug. 14th, 2004|08:30 pm] |
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i just have not been in a good modd latly well it will get better me and keni are gonna tryignt o do somthing tomorrow no mater how depressed i am whane i see him i fell so much better. |
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